


awake

by cherrystarved



Category: Better Call Saul (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, They love each other, i cry over these two so much u guys dont even know, showering together but no sexytimes or anything, this is after bagman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27838903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrystarved/pseuds/cherrystarved
Summary: Jimmy has a nightmare about the desert. Kim takes care of him.Based on my own experiences with PTSD.
Relationships: Jimmy McGill | Saul Goodman/Kim Wexler
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	awake

Jimmy gasps as his whole body jolts, waking up. He’s already facing Kim, and she stares into his teary, terrified eyes.

“Jimmy?” She asks, voice raspy from sleep, brow creasing in concern.

He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t move. Just grips the blanket where his shaking hands were already positioned, chest heaving.

Kim doesn’t ask if he’s okay. She already knows the answer. “...Can I touch you?”

Jimmy opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. Only more panicked breaths. He quickly nods instead, looking desperate.

She isn’t really sure what to do. Reaching out, Kim gently pries his hand away from the blanket and intertwines their fingers. It’s then that she realizes he’s soaked with sweat, hand nearly dripping. The sheets around him are damp as she shifts closer. 

“You’re okay.” She says softly, stroking his wrist with her free hand. She can feel his muscles, tense enough that it has to be painful. “It was just a nightmare. It’s okay.” 

He breathes in sharply at that. “Sorry.” He finally croaks with what seems like immense effort, voice soft and shaky. 

Kim’s heart heaves in her chest. “It’s okay.” She repeats. His stillness is scaring her. He’s not fidgeting like he constantly does, hasn’t moved an inch from the position he woke up in. 

So she moves even closer, close enough to feel his quick breaths on her face. She pulls his hand up to rest on her shoulder as she brushes his sweat-slick hair off his forehead, stroking the side of his face and eventually resting her hand on the side of his neck. 

His pulse hammers against her fingers. They stay like that for a few moments, looking at each other, Kim too afraid to shift her focus from his wide eyed stare in case something changes. 

And then she feels him start to relax, if only a tiny bit at a time. Not enough to be anywhere close to calm, but enough that his chest starts to rise and fall at a less alarming pace. 

It takes a few more minutes for Kim to be sure that he’s not trapped in his subconscious anymore. 

“Okay.” She says, moving the blanket off of them and tugging Jimmy to sit up. “Can you get in the shower? I can be there in a minute.”

Jimmy clears his throat, looking to the bedroom door. “Yeah.” He stands on shaky legs. Kim watches as he makes his way across the room.

She pulls the sheets off of the bed and rummages through their closet for clean ones. They don’t have a second duvet cover, though, so she just flips the blanket over, making a mental note to put it in the laundry later.

As soon as she’s finished with the bed, she makes her way into the bathroom as quickly as she can.

Jimmy startles when Kim pulls the shower door open. His arms are wrapped around himself, still shivering even under the warm water. It’s a tight fit as Kim steps inside, but the close proximity seems to help him calm down.

She looks at him for a moment before grabbing the body wash. She avoids the places where his sunburn is the worst, and the friction burns on his shoulders. Instead, she starts to lather up his chest. Jimmy lets out a deep breath that she feels against her hands. His heartbeat is still fast, but it isn’t pounding anymore, isn’t so rapid that Kim’s worried it might stop. 

“Lift.” She says, tapping his bicep. He looks away, frustrated as Kim starts to rub at his underarms. 

“I can do it myself.” He snaps, batting her hands away as he grabs the body wash from the shelf behind her.

“Okay.” She says, dropping her hands down to her sides.

Jimmy breathes in hard, letting out an upset sigh. “God damn it. I’m sorry. I’m...I just…”

Kim reaches up tentatively, placing her hands on his chest again. She wants to keep track of his heart, make sure he isn’t panicking again. “I know.”

She does know, at least a little bit. He’s angry with himself, embarrassed, upset over thinking he’s burdening her. It’s the terror she doesn’t fully understand yet. He still hasn’t told her any details, but she suspects it might be worse than anything she’s imagined.

Jimmy finishes rinsing off and looks down into her eyes. Kim can see he’s blinking back tears as he hesitantly reaches for her. 

She moves forward into his embrace, of course she does, feeling his shuddering breaths against her hair. He’s still stiff, but nowhere near as rigid as before. Whatever the nightmare was, he’s starting to recover from it, just barely.

Kim’s not sure, but she thinks he’s crying. The ache in her chest flares and she holds him tighter. They stand like that until the water goes cold.


End file.
